In many neighborhoods, there are now former Benedictine Place residents who have met the challenge, faced their hardships squarely, changed their lives, and are now successful, contributing members to society. One of many success stories, Cindy L. came to Benedictine Place with four children, desperate to provide a better life for them. One of her sons balked at the idea of “living in a shelter.” He chose to live with his father instead. The other three children adjusted quickly and grew to appreciate the care and concern that is so evident at Benedictine Place.
Even though Cindy had completed some nurse’s training 16 years earlier, she knew that to be a viable employee, she needed to update her skills. Benedictine Place gave her the opportunity to do that. After eight months, Cindy had finished her training and was eager to get her children established in a good school district in the North Hills.
“Benedictine Place gave me back a sense of worth and security. In addition to helping me to return to school, the emotional support they provided me was a blessing.” The success story continues now that Cindy has recently been promoted to RN supervisor in the hospital where she works. Not only is she a valuable member of society, but Cindy now returns the favor to the community by helping others as much as possible through her job and her everyday life.
Jackie entered Benedictine Place with a three-month-old daughter. She had been referred
to Benedictine Place by the staff at Genesis, a residential place that provides alternatives to abortion. “It was quite an adjustment coming to the security of Benedictine Place,” relates Jackie. “Food would be delivered to my door. Their support emotionally and financially helped me to get back on my feet and feel secure while rebuilding my life. Sure they had rules and regulations, but the least one can do is respect them, considering all that is done for the residents.” She is eager to proclaim to anyone who will listen how thankful she is for what Benedictine Place has done. Jackie’s success story is as uplifting as so many others who have benefited from Benedictine Place. Since she has left there, she has completed a degree as an EMT. “I have a house, a new car, and a job with full benefits. I can’t say enough good things about what Benedictine Place has helped me to achieve.”
“Benedictine Place gave me hope. The excellent program taught me how to be self-sufficient and gave me avenues to help myself,” says Mandy. During the year and a half that Mandy spent at Benedictine Place, she was able to develop a sense of worth, while learning about the community to which she would eventually contribute.
When asked how she now contributes to that community, her words were confident and pleasing. “I now pay taxes rather than depending upon welfare to help me. I have all the tools I need to care for myself. I’m now a benefit to the community rather than a hindrance and much of the credit goes to the staff at Benedictine Place, who gave their blood and sweat to help me.” Mandy was proud to relate that the tools she was given while living at Benedictine Place have become a definite part of her. “I still incorporate everything I learned there into my job. In fact, I’m the editor of the newsletter at my job site now.”
Melissa is a 23-year-old single mother raising a 3-year-old son, while studying to be a paralegal. Benedictine Place provides her a safe environment with a good school district. But she knows the fortune of living at Benedictine Place is not forever. Living tucked away in a secluded section of Ross Township surrounded by other women who understand and share her struggles allows her time to rebuild, to become self-sufficient.
“I just want to have a normal life for my family. I want a normal place to live, and a normal lifestyle and to just be normal.” Part of that life would ideally include a network of support, like that cultivated at Benedictine Place,” Melissa said. “It’s nice to know everyone like we do here,” Melissa said about the family atmosphere. “You can talk to the women here and most of them have already been through whatever it is you’re struggling with.”
When a child arrives at Benedictine Place, their baggage comes with them. While their tiny arms tote along very little of material possessions, like clothes and toys. Often times, an unmanageable load of anger, confusion and resentment weighs heavily on their shoulders. Benedictine Place will probably be the most secure home they’ve lived in all of their short lives.
Just the same, the fear of change and uncertainly mixed with unresolved feelings about divorce, abuse or homelessness often triggers a resentment towards the new atmosphere. It takes time, but with the help of the small staff at HEARTH and its many volunteers, the children are provided with the love, respect and support that makes a fresh start possible.
That “mending” often begins with the mothers and rubs off on the children. “This is the best thing to ever happen to me and the kids,” said Donna, a single mother of two. As the mother of a 6-year-old daughter and an 18-year-old son, Donna said she has experienced the full spectrum of problems. Her oldest can remember an alcoholic and abusive father, who has been out of their lives for more than a decade. He can’t seem to forget the way he was always shuffling around, living in eight different places in as many years.
Then there’s Donna’s second husband, her daughter’s father, who walked away from the family five years ago and hasn’t paid a cent in child support since. “He has a lot of anger that he carries around with him,” Donna said about her son. “Like a lot of kids here, he’s seen things he shouldn’t have and has had to deal with a lot at a young age.
Before turning to HEARTH, the final straw came less than a year ago when illness prevented Donna from cutting hair, her livelihood for 20 years. The loss of that income meant she could no longer keep up with the rent on the family’s West View apartment. They were evicted after falling one month behind on rent. “We were homeless and had nowhere to go,” she recalled. “There was complaining the whole time we lived there. I was the first to bring kids into the building, and I constantly heard about it.”
The sisters of Mt. Nazareth suggested the Benedictine Place Program to Donna. After her arrival, the years of neglecting her deteriorating health finally caught up to her. At Benedictine Place, Donna was given the chance to have the surgery she needed to begin mending her ailing body. Now that she has begun the road to recovery, she has more time and patience to spend with her children. She has the time and energy to be a mother again.
“I used to have so many things to worry about and I wasn’t feeling well. Not that it’s easy now, but I actually have the time to spend with my kids. I have the patience to listen to them, and my daughter listens better now than she ever has. I think that it has a lot to do with me spending more time with her. My daughter asked me if we were poor. I told her maybe a little, but that we were rich in love. This place has showed us that,” Donna said.
But even more important than the presents at Christmas and at her daughter’s birthday is the sense of family that they are recapturing. While Donna attends mandatory weekly meetings about everything from parenting skills to balancing a checkbook, her daughter joins a dozen or so other children in child-care provided by volunteers at HEARTH. For the children it’s a fun place to create their own network. For the mothers it is a Godsend. “It’s her neighborhood. She has a lot of friends here. She enjoys it so much I have to drag her away some nights,” Donna said. “Sometimes I wish we could stay here forever, but I know we’re lucky to be here for the two years. It really gives you the chance to put your life back together for you and your kids.”